Won’t You Save Me, San Francisco
In the Bay Area with Bae
I’ve always found that California brings out the worst in me.
While for most people the combination of lovely weather, ample outdoor space, and a slower pace to life may have a calming effect, for me it fuels my anxiety. Perhaps it comes from a lack of understanding the joys of hiking and mountain biking. Or maybe it’s that I can’t comprehend living in a place where restaurants close before 11 PM. And seriously, how do you get anywhere on time when there is always a self-driving car—aka a Waymo—struggling to turn left in front of you?
Despite repeated tries over the years, the warmth of the Golden State has yet to break through my tightly wound east coast exterior. It is what it is. But I thought it might appeal to my partner Max over our week-long stay in the Bay Area. He does like outdoor activities, and prides himself on being much better at relaxing than I am. California’s possibilities excited him.
And then of course we both came down with devastatingly bad cases of food poisoning.
I was determined not to let this setback ruin the trip, carrying on with plans as best we could. Max worked 5:30 AM to 3 PM each day as I answered my own emails and attended Zoom meetings, plus travelled around to visit with local independent bookstores. I stopped by the very gay, very lovely Fabulosa Books in the Castro, chatting with bookseller Melissa. I then swung by the Mission District to say hi to Josiah at Medicine for Nightmares (a gallery and bookstore with a focus on Mexican American writers) as well as the team at Dog-Eared, who happen to love small presses as much as I do. I always find seeing a city through its indie bookstores tells you tons about its communities and neighborhoods, and SF is no exception.
Despite our queasy stomachs, Max and I managed to meet up with my friend Jess in the Mission, too. We grabbed drinks at the trendy ABV then had dinner at Foreign Cinema, a restaurant set in a gorgeous courtyard where every night, in addition to serving delectable meals with seasonal ingredients, they project a movie. During our visit, it was The Wizard of Oz. Max and I were a bit too ill to enjoy the food, but Jess and her new boyfriend Jordan were wonderful company.
The next night of the trip was dedicated to the amateur wino in me, as I’d booked a sampling at Winery Collective. I visited Napa my first time in the Bay Area, and while the wine was good I wasn’t sure a long car ride was the best idea for our uneasy stomachs. This downtown storefront did the trick, serving wines from a collection of small California vineyards, including rich red and wonderful white blends. Max and I ended up taking home two bottles. We finally found our appetites by mid-week at Filipino eatery Abacá beforehand where the tasting menu was chef’s kiss delicious. Think pineapple tuna ceviche and the most terrifically spiced hot and sour soup. My mouth is watering just describing it.
Being a big sports fan, Max wanted to see a basketball game. You might’ve heard of a little team called the Golden State Warriors and a certain star player who goes by Steph Curry… We scored decent seats for Thursday evening, wearing our free Latin Heritage Night hats and rooting for the home team. It was quite the nail biter against the Toronto Raptors, but Dub Nation got the win in the end. Even as Curry took an injury.
Come Friday, Max got off early and I had him meet me at Books Inc. on Van Ness, a cute general interest store. We then strolled up the hills to Alamo Square Park, taking in the view of The Painted Ladies (familiar to Full House fans) from atop the hill. Feeling the sun on our faces while lying in the grass was a nice prelude to heading over to Haight-Ashbury, the hub of the 1960s counterculture movement. Haight Street is full of vintage boutiques, record stores, and quirky artisan shops. There’s also The Booksmith, a shop that houses books by many queer authors and hard to find titles just blocks from the Grateful Dead House. Co-owner Camden took Max and I for drinks at The Alembic next door, a great place for a craft cocktail.
Friday ended in Chinatown, where Max and I waited an hour for a table at Z & Y, known for having some of the best Chinese food in the city. Both of my local friends plus Eater and the Michelin Guide recommended it. My god, was it worth every minute of standing around. The Peking Duck was deliciously tender, and the tempura finish on the orange chicken was flavorfully light. But the real highlight for me were the steamed dumplings. Biting into one was honestly an orgasmic experience.
Most of our Saturday was spent in Fisherman’s Wharf, taking a historic cable car to get there from our downtown hotel. The area is an important center for fishing in the Bay Area, but also hosts a number of restaurants, ferry rides, and other attractions. Plus the cutest sea lions around. We walked the length of the area a few times, stopping for some sourdough bread and clam chowder at Pier 39 as well as sundaes at Ghirardelli Square in the original chocolate shop. We ended the evening aboard a wine tasting boat cruise, sailing under the Golden Gate Bridge as the sun started to set, toasting our complementary pours.
Max flew back to New York Sunday, but we managed to squeeze in a quick bite at the Ferry Terminal building first. On Saturdays it hosts one of the state’s largest farmers markets. Every other day, it’s got lots of foods to try with beautiful views of the bay. We munched on empanadas and gluten-free sandwiches before doing another wine flight tasting at Ferry Plaza Wine Merchant.
By the end of his week out west, Max surprisingly had the same reaction I did to California. “These people are too chill,” he said, shaking his head in my lap as we laid in the grass of Maritime Park Saturday afternoon, digesting our ice cream sundaes. He also admitted he couldn’t see himself living there, if only because the hours for his job make rising and shining kind of rough. “I have to admit, though, the weather is pretty nice.”
He wasn’t wrong. On a day when all you have to do is lie in the arms of a loved one, doing so under the rays of high 60s sunshine is pretty nice. Running a hand through Max’s dark curls, I felt him let out a purring sigh. I looked out at the bright blue of the Bay water and let myself exhale a breath of tension. Maybe I would never truly be able to embrace the full-time laid back, West coast lifestyle. But there seemed no harm in letting my shoulders down for a moment; in letting myself breathe and do nothing else. It was one of the best times of the week. Right behind the dumplings, of course.
Rachel’s Weekly Recs
I couldn’t leave the Ghirardelli store without picking up some sweeties to take home. With Easter on the horizon, I went with these adorable (and delicious) chocolate caramel bunnies. Maybe it’s just the cute shape, but I think they taste better than the usual square variety.
I’ve been very much enjoying Ashley Poston’s A Novel Love Story about an English professor who on her way to a weekend in the Catskills with her book club buddies finds her car breaking down in the small town from her favorite romance novel series. It’s swoon-worthy fun at its finest.
Who travels to California and forgets her sunglasses? This girl! I took the moment of foolishness as an excuse to do a little shopping, picking up these new Bernard Ray-Bans from Sunglass Hut. They’re a fun red twist on the style I’ve been loving since college.