With Love and Gratitude
Some positivity for your Thanksgiving plate
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been really negative lately.
I typically lean pretty heavily into the pessimistic/realism side of the coin. My motto? If you expect the worst and don’t get it, you’ll be pleased. If you plan everything, you can never be surprised. So in the face of change and uncertainty, my typical response is to try to assert control at every turn to protect myself (thanks, chronic trauma), whether it be personally or professionally. Unsurprisingly, this response comes at a cost. It can lead to fatigue, stress, and even panic attacks.
Don’t worry. We’re not digging deeper on this today. I think this newsletter has explored enough anxiety for one year. Instead, let’s pivot to a more uncharted territory: positivity. I’ve spent the past week shoving aside the stuff that brings me down and instead trying to focus on what I’m grateful for, in the spirit of this week’s holiday. Here are just a few of those thoughts.
I’m grateful for Wine & Pine. Hosting the reading series continues to be the best part of every month. Spending two hours in a room with talented writers, discussing desire and the doldrums of creative practice always makes me feel less alone. I’m not really a person who needs a big community, but the inspiration and warmth I experience every time the back room of Ten Degrees fills up is unlike anything else.
I’m grateful for the opportunities I have to regularly travel. So far this year, I’ve explored nine states and six countries, with plans to head west in early 2025. Each time I leave New York I am recentered and reminded that the world is so much bigger than my day-to-day drama.
I’m grateful that I keep finding reasons to sit down and write, if only for an hour here or there what with my work schedule. It’s often difficult for me to enter this happy space after a very bad day, but I’m so happy to have it; to continue working into it. It’s essential to who I am. I don’t feel like a fully formed person without my writing, which is something I need to keep in mind. I’m also grateful for the opportunity to share some of my work at Miss Manhattan x Black Lipstick next Monday night at Niagara.
I’m grateful for the joy of putting an outfit together, to layer up on lace and sequins and tulle. The chance to face the world in all my over-the-top wonder without a care in the world about what anyone might think. Fashion is fun. It can help turn the worst days into a runway.
I’m grateful for rom-coms and happy endings. Their ability to restore my faith in the possibility for there to be more goodness than not in society, or at least to provide a respite from the too frequent darkness of reality. I’m also especially appreciative of the folks who run bookstores celebrating the genre specifically, for making romance as important as any other kind of fiction. I love a good love story, and I love that you do, too.
I’m grateful for my friends, who from places throughout the country—and in some cases, around the globe—manage to respond to texts and assure me I can stay afloat amidst the chaos when I hold doubts. Their ability to see strength in me that I rarely notice in myself means a ton. A similar nod goes out to my colleagues, the rare breed of people who check-in and encourage you to put your well-being over the obligations of a job. I didn’t know those kinds of folks existed until I met them, and as greatly as my job stresses me out, they are what make it tolerable.
I’m grateful for my partner and the kind things he does. Bringing home surprise treats like miniature eclairs or ripe green grapes. Taking a few extra turns cleaning the apartment. Drawing perfect temperature bubble baths after long days. He certainly adds his own drama to my table, but most of the time, Max gives me so very much.
I’m grateful for my family. More than anyone, my mom. She has supported me through my frequent worst and occasional best moments; the only person who has indulged my passion for everything from adorable stuffed animals to fashion, who never loses faith that one day I will fulfill my enduring childhood dream of becoming a real writer. I make it pretty difficult to love me, and somehow she’s done it for twenty-eight years. And not because she has to, but because she wants to (trust me, I’ve asked). If I prayed, I’d thank the universe everyday for pairing me with her.
I’m grateful for the little moments. The waterfront sunsets. The Catskill mountain sunrises. The odd spell of snow in London. Wine specials. Pumpernickel bagels. Pasta from Norma on a Tuesday night. The way ocean waves always return to the shoreline after they go out to sea. The smell of cinnamon baked with butter, sugar, and flour into apple pie. The rare but glorious sensation of not being in a rush. All of it combined makes even the bad days worth living.
And of course I’m grateful for you, too, dear readers. All of you who subscribe to this newsletter, or click the link in my Instagram bio. Especially anyone who sends me a reply. Sometimes I forget I’m not simply writing into the void, that there are people out there who care about the words I put down on the digital page. Thanks for being there, right on the other side.
Now, who’s ready to gobble gobble?
Rachel’s Weekly Recs, Small Business Saturday Edition:
Grace in Niantic, Connecticut has everything a girl wants, from Free People sweaters to Thymes Frasier Fir candles. Whether you’re looking for the perfect present for your best friend or a little treat to yourself, the options at this boutique will not disappoint.
To stock up on your holiday romance reads, check out Grand Gesture Books owned by the brilliant Katherine Morgan. She’s curating a sweet selection of spicy books alongside nonfiction full of helpful information to grow your relationship. If you can’t make it out to Portland, Oregon, you can support Grand Gesture on Bookshop.org.
I’ve featured this store before in the newsletter, but Milk Handmade is the perfect place to find something unique for someone special. From antique-inspired jewelry to repurposed vintage clothing, there’s tons to explore from the Chicago, Illinois boutique.